Tired of being single and lonely during COVID-19 while my friends are all quarantined with their boyfriends, I contacted a guy I’d met while living in Europe over a year ago.

When we first met, he was strictly off limits. Shortly before I moved back to North America, he became available. But with such little time left together, neither of us ever brought up the elephant in the room: is this connection we have more than just platonic? During our catch-up video call, I secretly hoped he would bore me or I would have lost any attraction I had to him.

I didn’t get my wish. I like him just as much as ever. So I wrote myself a letter that I have sealed with an envelope that says “open when the border re-opens”, telling myself to book a flight immediately and go tell that boy how I actually feel about him.